Lyrics

  • Bungee Jumpin’ Cows CD!
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  • ALIEN GOBBLER

    When you cut yourself alien bacteria crawls in

    Viruses can also sneak in where your skin is thin

    Alien gobbler, a white blood cell not a red

    Alien gobbler, he chomps aliens till he’s dead

    Now other white blood cells help out our little friend Alien gobbler

    They’ve got antibody weapons that they surely send Alien gobbler

    Alien gobbler, with antibodies on the go

    Alien gobbler, custom made for every foe

    Histamine alert bacteria’s here, killing every cell that’s near

    Uninvited parasite, alien gobbler time to fight!

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    (He’s munchin’ alien lunchin’, you’ll feel better when he eats his foe

    He’s chompin’ alien stompin’ – alien gobbler go!

    Antibodies , set them loose, make the right ones reproduce

    Send them off to the war, go ahead and make some more

    Antibodies kill ‘n’ cut aliens all around Alien gobbler

    Or they coat ‘em and the alien gobblers come up and chomp ‘em down Alien gobbler

    Alien gobbler, keeps piggin’, just can’t stop

    Alien gobbler, till he croaks then we send him to the top

    A river of puss, put the fallen warriors in Alien gobbler

    Hardens to a scab, a war memorial on your skin Alien gobbler

    Alien gobbler, stamps invaders out

    Alien gobbler, just give him a shout

    © 1993 Mel McMurrin & Kevin Beals


    ARACHNIDAE

    I think I hear the doorbell

    Guess it’s time to eat

    My web it is a-jigglin’ from some insects’ tiny feet

    I’ll wrap you up in silk then I’ll eat your insides raw

    You’ll be my insect smoothie, suck your guts like with a straw

    It’s killer tag and I’m it, don’t you want to play (NO WAY!)

    I just want to wish you an arachnidae

    Webs can be triangular, funnel-shaped or round

    Some have sticky trip lines. some dig down in the ground

    Others they don’t have webs they chase down their prey

    I’m so glad to meet you but I guess it’s not your day

    When it’s time to mate, its a dangerous dating game

    Some spiders eat each other things that wiggle are all the same

    The females have a motto that means I risk my life

    A husband’s place is inside the stomach of his wife

    © 1993 Pete Madsen, Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin


    BANANA SLUG

    You know I love my baby

    I like the way that she hugs

    People don’t understand

    She’s a banana slug

    She’s got just one foot

    But she ain’t got no toes

    She just hangs out in the forest

    Helpin’ it decompose

    Banana slug Ba na na na na na na (repeat)

    Ba-na-na-slug!

    The way you shake your antenna

    You know it gives me such bliss

    C’mon, c’mon, c’mon banana slug

    And let me give you a kiss

    Oh when you slide through the forest

    You know you look so fine

    C’mon, c’mon, c’mon banana slug

    And let me feel your slime

    Now I’m broke up about my baby

    Found out she doesn’t need me

    She told me just the other night

    That she is also a he. Hermaphroditic she’s a…

    Now some folks think that she’s gross

    But I don’t hear that jive

    ‘Cause if it weren’t for my baby

    This forest might not survive

    © 1981 Kevin Beals


    BLOOD-SUCKING FRIENDS

    You get into bed and turn off the lights

    Ready to sleep you say goodnight

    Then you hear a buzzing getting near

    Before you know it a mosquito’s in your ear

    You try to kill it, you cover your head

    But mosquito babies must be fed

    You smack and whack, you think you’re a stud

    But she flies away with a belly full of blood

    We’re your blood-sucking friends. We want to be your friends

    We’re your blood-sucking friends. On your blood we depend

    We’re your friends. When you give, you’re giving life

    We’re your friends. Not for me, but for my wife

    We’re your blood-sucking friends

    The buzz you hear is her love call for a mate

    If a male’s antennae hears it, he meets her for a date

    Us males are quiet and we don’t bite

    But can you hear that female, she’ll drink to you tonight

    Us males don’t whine or dine • Plant juices taste just fine

    When we bite we leave spit, that’s how we spread disease

    Civilizations we’ve brought to their knees

    Yellow fever and malaria in tropical lands

    All I spread here is itch, but you’re still not my fans!

    Help out our little ones • Without your blood their life is done

    I feed frogs, snakes, lizards, salamanders, and fish

    Dragonflies and swallows think that I’m a hot dish

    Spiders and water boatmen, backswimmers too

    They all feed on me, but now I’m gonna feed on you!

    Wouldn’t you like to donate? • You’ll feel just great

    She was born in stagnant water in a raft of eggs

    A cute little wriggler without any legs

    Living life as a pupa wasn’t much of a thrill

    But now she’s an adult and it’s time to drill!

    You might like us all to die • But don’t even try • I think you’d
    best refrain • You’ll mess up the food chain • Please give your blood
    freely • We accept type A or B • We vant to suck your blood!

    © 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen

    BUBBA (THE FROG)

    Let me tell you ’bout my froggie friend

    He lives in the water and he lives on land

    He’s an amphibian, he lives in-between

    He’s got a big mouth and his skin is green

    He’s got a pair of great big bulbous eyes

    They drop down when he swallows flies

    His tongue shoots out and here they come

    Wings and all right over the gums

    His name is Bubba, he’s a big fat frog

    Been eatin’ bugs all day here on this log

    The sky is dark, it’s getting late

    He’d better croak loud, if he wants a date

    He’s got long hind legs, would like to be the champ

    Of the frog jump olympics down at Angel’s Camp

    Ya better keep those lovely legs out of view

    They’re good for jumpin’ but they’re tasty too

    He can drink and breathe right through his skin

    He’s camouflaged so that he blends in

    Now to find a mate who will respond

    He’ll join the choir down at the pond.

    He eats buuuugs for breakfast Bugs for breakfast

    He eats bugs for lunch Bugs for lunch

    He eats buuuugs for dinner Bugs for dinner

    He likes the way they crunch He likes the way they crunch

    He eats buuuug burgers Bug burgers

    He drinks bug milkshakes Bug milkshakes

    He puts buuuug butter Bug butter

    On his bug pancakes On his bug pancakes

    © 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen


    DANCING WITH THE INSECTS

    I snuck into the lab to see what was cooking

    I knew I shouldn’t be there but I was only looking

    There was a big machine there it was made for shrinking

    I bumped into the lever, I guess I wasn’t thinking

    I started to feel funny I was getting smaller

    I tried to get away and I shouted and hollered

    The machine it kept on going as I stood on the rug

    And it didn’t stop until I was the size of a bug

    I looked up and I saw that there were insects all around me

    I hid but it wasn’t long until they found me

    It was an insect party I had landed in

    They were jitterbugging, wiggling their exoskeletons

    Their bodies were a blur as around we did spin

    They were shaking their heads, their thorax, and their abdomens

    They all had six legs, the beetles and the fleas

    So all of them could dance three times better than me

    I was dancing with the insects (Bailando)

    Bailando con los insectos (Insectos) (2x)

    Venga jugar. ¡Vamos a bailar y gozar! (2x)

    I asked a butterfly if she’d dance with me

    I thought I recognized her from entomology

    We climbed up and we danced on a sugar cube so sweet ¡Azucar!

    And as we danced she tasted it with her feet! ¡Sabor!

    She said she had to leave ’cause it was getting late

    She took off with some bees and went off to pollinate

    Then with some cucarachas I began to mosh

    I said, “hey man aren’t you the bugs that I used to squash?”

    They gathered all around me shouting “are you the one?

    Who kills our friends and family just for fun?”

    I stared into their compound eyes I didn’t want to die

    I said, “don’t mess with my garden and I won’t hurt a fly”

    A Goliath beetle grabbed me and said, “you’re history dude”!

    But just in time I grew and gained some altitude

    I still do the dance the insects taught to me

    But so I squish nobody I do it carefully

    Tenían tres partes de sus cuerpos tambien

    Cabeza, thórax y abdomen

    Cuando ví la mariposa la conocía

    La había estudiado en entomología

    I don’t know why I killed them before

    Los dejaré vivír alrededor

    Bailando el merenge y la cha cha cha

    Tambien conocían a la macarena

    Ya que estoy grande otra vez

    Los dejaré vivír all over the place

    I was dancing with the insects

    Bailando con los insectos (2x)

    © 1993 Kevin Beals, Mel McMurrin & Lynn Barakos

    EARTHQUAKE

    Rumble in the distance, land wakes from its sleep

    What I feel on the surface started way down deep

    The earth’s crust is divided into many plates

    And where we all live on them determines our fate

    Where plates slide past each other it’s everybody’s fault

    The pressure it can build when they slow down to a halt

    Little jolts release it, but without any brakes

    The earth starts dancing – its big booty begins to shake

    Earthquake • Land shakes • Plates slide – collide

    We wait • To vibrate • On nature’s wildest ride (repeat)

    Continents colliding like giant bumper cars

    That’s how the tallest mountains were pushed up to the stars

    India was drifting then rammed into the land

    The place it crashed in Asia’s where the Himalayas stand

    The earth when it was forming had no water or atmosphere

    Locked up in the rocks you know they hadn’t yet appeared

    Volcanoes on the surface completely changed this place

    By spewing gas like pimples erupting on your face

    When a plate goes ‘neath another its a subduction zone

    And with that plate’s destruction shoots up volcanic cones

    The Sierras and the Rockies, they were born that way

    In the Cascades it’s still happening – why St. Helen’s was blown away

    Deep beneath the oceans plates are being formed

    When lava hits the water now it goes from hot to warm

    It moves across the ocean and says a slow good-bye

    ‘Cause at the other side you know it’s shoved down deep to die

    Milkshake!

    © 1993 Kevin Beals Pete Madsen & Mel McMurrin

    FIRE!

    Fire! Fire!

    Caveman cold • Raw food getting old • It dark when sun down • Wild
    animals all around • Oh – light from sky • It hit a tree • Me scared •
    But now me can see, it’s Fire!

    Me get more near • Me have no fear • Me like a lot • Ow! – it too hot
    • Fire can be friend • If treat with care • Me got too close now me
    don’t got no hair Fire!

    Me bang on things • To make some sparks • Me try sticks and bones •
    But then me meet the flintstones! • Me figured it out • Now fire my tool
    • Recipe for fire: heat, oxygen, fuel. That make…Fire!

    (Booga booga business)

    When something burns • There is an attraction • With oxygen • It’s a
    chemical reaction • H2O • CO2 • Are some of the gases fire makes for me
    and you. That make…Fire!

    Spark plugs fire in my ’56 Chevy

    This rock don’t roll, ‘cause it too heavy

    I’ve got a barbecue now and a gas range stove

    Me sitting in me cave and me still cold

    Don’t play with fire, better watch out now

    For Hindenberg and Mrs. O’Leary’s cow!

    Fire’s not a toy, so you take care

    Don’t be neanderthal, just beware!

    © 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen

    FOOD CHAIN GANG

    We’re the food chain gang We’re the food chain gang

    We connect everything We connect everything

    Food chain ya can’t break it or ya know

    The pull affects the others and down we all will go

    We’re the food chain gang We’re the food chain gang

    Well the chain starts out with an oak leaf in the sun

    Making carbohydrates – havin’ lots of fun

    Caterpillar eats it, turns into a moth

    Winds up on a log in the belly of a frog

    Now the log was sittin’ by the shores of a lake

    Frog became a dinner for a sneaky gopher snake

    Snake thinks she’s cool cause she’s cold-blooded

    Long comes racoon eats our reptile bud

    Please let me explain. The power that pumps you up every day comes to you through a bunch of food chains

    Racoon was sittin’ just washin’ his food

    Bobcat came and ate him’cause she was in the mood

    The bobcat died, died of old age

    The insects ate her – into soil she decayed

    © 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen
    GROTY TOES

    I like sports, I’m not exactly athletic but I like to hang out with sweaty fungis in athletic shoes

    I’m a parasite I admit. I like one-sided relationships

    I’m a fungus, I wanna have fun, I want the opportunity to make you itch

    I like throwing out spores and letting them sink into your skin

    and let ‘em dig right in

    And if the spore can germinate

    Because you did not ventilate

    Mycelium will infiltrate your skin

    Skin and wood are really great

    Some plants I also populate

    Your feet I wanna irritate with…

    Groty toes, Groty toes, itchy groty toes

    Do you like spaghetti bread and pizza

    Salad stir fry and roquefort cheese?

    Aren’t you glad there’s antibiotics that are used to cure disease?

    My kinfolk are in all these

    And dead things would accumulate

    If fungus did not congregate

    To decompose and penetrate within

    So to your shoes let me migrate

    And do not try to medicate

    Our partnership you’ll terminate.

    We’re beautiful and edible

    Put us in stew. But you might spew

    Some of us are poisonous

    Identify or you could die I said

    Identify or die (3x)

    Some like give and take relationships, my cousin Chanterelle got involved with a tree

    I’m not a princess but I’m from a kingdom that isn’t plant or beast

    Including mushrooms, mold and yeast

    We do not photosynthesize

    The plant kingdom does not apply

    Our mushrooms are to multiply – they’re fruits

    Hidden right before your eyes

    ‘Neath skin and ground you realize

    When we pop up you’ll recognize

    © 1995 Mel McMurrin, Kevin Beals, Lynn Barakos and Pete Madsen

    GUSANO (I AM A WORM)

    I am a worm

    The wondrous worm

    It’s down under

    I love to squirm

    To eat the dead

    And the living’s my toil

    And what comes out makes magnificent soil

    Gusa nonononononononononononononono sí (2x)

    I aerate the earth as I tunnel and squirm

    I am proud to be called a worm

    Our tunnels flood

    It rains all night

    Come up for air

    We’re killed by light

    When people die worms attend

    Even when it’s dull

    But no one comes to a worms’ funeral (oh no, I’m not bitter!)

    A robin’s cute

    Have you not heard?

    Of the massacres

    By the early bird

    We do such good

    From us you could learn

    But you make us fish bait in return – thanks a lot!

    © 1993 Mel McMurrin & Kevin Beals

    LAWS OF PHYSICS

    These are the laws of physics.

    You’re busted, uh huh – you know you cannot break the law

    Can’t run, can’t glide, can’t take a ride,

    Can’t stop, can’t move, can’t bump or groove

    Without the laws of physics

    You’re riding your bike down the block

    You hit a rock and your bicycle stops

    You were movin’ fast wind in your hair

    Your bike has stopped, now you’re flyin’ in the air

    You wish you were skinny with a little less fat

    ‘Cause the bigger you are, the bigger the splat

    And you hit a bunch of kids, like a bowling ball

    You know the harder you come, the harder they fall – It’s the law!

    Your parents said to go clean your room

    You’ve been workin’ at it hard, now you’re sweatin’ with a broom

    They just wouldn’t listen when you made your plea

    I didn’t mess it up, it’s just entropy!

    It’s the universe’s fault, it don’t got no heart

    Everything put together falls apart

    Wish I could freeze it to minus four fifty nine

    Then the atoms wouldn’t move, and my room’d be fine – It’s the law!

    Pull over there, with the lead in your shoe

    What’s the matter officer? The matter is you!

    I clocked your speed 186 thou.

    Going much faster than the law will allow

    I know the rules, I won’t give you a fight

    If you’ve got mass you can’t go the speed of light – It’s the law!

    Everything is attracted to all other things

    The greater the mass, you know the greater the cling

    My booty was attracted to the ground the other day

    That’s gravity at work in a painful way

    My attraction to Tina is more than gravity though

    Not all attractions are explained with physics you know

    But I’m glad she’s attracted to the planet Earth with me

    Thank goodness for the law of universal gravity! – It’s the law!

    © 1993 Pete Madsen, Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin

    NATIONAL CHAMPION JUDGER OF COWS

    My grandpa was an O.K. Farmer

    I’ve got a lot more respect for him now

    Well I never knew about his achievements

    He was the national champion judger of cows

    Moo moo sing moo with me now

    We’re udderly impressed we wish we knew how

    Your bovine secrets please share with us now

    We’ll be national champion judgers of cows

    The world’s seen many great leaders

    George Washington, Napoleon, Mao

    Well big deal, all they did was lead countries

    They weren’t national champion judgers of cows

    Mozart, the Jacksons and the Beatles

    Wrote music we all listen to now

    Well that stuff that they wrote was real purty

    But they weren’t national champion judgers of cows

    Now Magellan was a daring explorer

    But on his ship he’d often stand on the prow

    And lament to the waves and the heavens,

    “I’ll never be national champion judger of cows!”

    Galileo, Drew, and Curie

    Made discoveries we benefit from now

    They became scientists because they couldn’t cut it

    As national champion judger of cows

    Joe Montana, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretsky and Pele

    All deserve to take a bow

    ‘Course none of them will ever be satisfied

    They’re not the national champion judgers of cows

    Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha

    Did miracles that made people say, “wow!”

    Well they might’ve been good at those miracles

    But not national champion judgers of cows

    So all you kids out there listenin’

    Please take this solemn vow

    Don’t be doctors or lawyers or teachers

    Be national champion judgers of cows

    © 1993 Kevin Beals & Gary Beals
    ONE OF THESE DAYS

    One of these days we’re gonna rule the world – we already do (2x)

    Life used to be soft, till the shells gave them might

    The seas were ruled by the trilobites

    Then imagine being grabbed by something 7 feet long

    Sea scorpions were nasty but now they’re gone

    Devonian was ruled by fish

    Now most of them are just a side dish

    So what if the sharks are still around

    Hey tough guy, come on up on the ground – HA!

    Next the amphibians did their land/water thing

    Imagine earth ruled by a salamander king

    That’s when I came along, the star of the show

    240 million years ago

    The reptiles were the next to take charge

    Big deal – so they were kinda large

    They say Tyrannosaurus ruled

    But now he’s just a fossil fuel – HA!

    Yes I’m the greatest you’ve ever seen

    You might call me the cucaracha queen

    You may look down on me now

    But I’ll outlive you anyhow

    The mammals were the next to think that they were the best

    But look how many have flunked the test

    Woolly mammoth and the Cave bear, and saber toothed cat

    They were bad long ago but now where are they at?

    Whales may think they’re unsurpassed

    But history proves that big things don’t last

    You’re superior that’s what you think

    We’ll be partying when you’re extiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinct

    La cucarachaaaaaa

    © 1993 Peter Madsen, Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin

    ROAD PIZZA PARTY

    Party party party, it’s a road pizza party (3x)

    Lookin’ down way below looks like dinner’s waiting for me

    My vulture pals are movin’ in, as far as the eye can see

    We don’t ever kill our prey, we leave that job to you

    The critters you hit on the road last night, to you they’re just a pile of goo

    I’m designed for this job, my adaptations I’ll share

    I’m red up top ‘cause I am bald I’ve got no feathers up there

    I don’t got nothing against parasites, but don’t want them on my head

    Feathers would get gunked when stuck inside the body of something that is dead

    Road pizza party! Pee-yew !

    Gonna have a road pizza party today

    Road pizza party! Road pizza party is the vulture way

    We are big heavy birds it’s hard for us to fly

    Instead of flap we’d rather glide on elevators into the sky

    It’s a myth if you see us above, it means something has died

    What it means is we’ve hitched a lift on a rising warm air ride

    I’ll have a road toad, and a frog fillet, and a well done snake steak

    Gimme a pigeon patty, skunk sandwich how ‘bout a tasty possum pancake

    My alternative ways they may seem gross, but before you turn away

    The scavenger lifestyle is a role that somebody has to play

    That’s right, if you didn’t have us there’d be bodies all around, we offer such a great deal

    We take the mess you’ve made and turn it into a delicious meal.

    I’m as gross as anyone else you might ever meet.

    When it gets hot to cool myself off sometimes I pee on my feet

    I’ve got a secret defense if you try to catch me, tell you what I would do

    To scare you away I’ll take what I just ate, I’ll bring it back up and barf all over you

    © 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen


    ROCK OF THE EARTH

    Melt me down way deep inside

    As I cool, let me crystalize

    I’m igneous, but don’t take me for granite

    Burnin’ hot lava – I can be volcanic

    I’m rock – rock of the earth (2x)

    Rockin’ and a rollin’ since the date of my birth

    I’m rock – rock of the earth

    Wash me with water, blow me with wind

    Carve out my valleys, erode my skin

    I’m made of mud, silt, rocks and sand

    Hardened into rock I’m sedimentary land

    I’ve been gettin’ worn down high and low

    Since 4 1/2 billion years ago

    Lucky for me, my continents drift

    Earthquakes give me a face-lift

    Give me pressure and heat and I’ll start to change

    Make stripes and folds as I rearrange

    I’m a metamorphic rock down under your shoes

    Be nice to me, ‘cause I can be gneiss too.

    © 1993 Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen


    SHARK’S IN THE HOUSE

    There’s miles of ocean underneath me

    What’s messin’ with my mind is that I just can’t see

    What’s down below lookin’ up at me

    Thinkin’ of what a tasty meal I could be

    From out of the depths torpedo slippin’ through the blue

    Them beady black eyes have a great view

    Of me with my little legs adanglin’, don’t want a manglin’

    From you an unscheduled rendezvous

    How do you do? You cordon bleu

    No way – uh, uh – I’m outa here

    And let me make one thing perfectly clear

    You see when it comes to sharks and my backside

    You call me chicken, I’ll say “yeah, Kentucky Fried”

    Watch out! Watch out! Shark’s in the house! (4x)

    You been cruisin’ the salty blue H2O

    As predator king since 400 million years ago you know

    You make no bones about it you ain’t got none

    You’re just a cartilage creature causin’ 911′s,

    You’re no fun at a party, cause you feed in that frenzied way

    Can’t take you anywhere, just leave me outa your buffet

    And don’t smile at me with those steak knives

    Your conveyor belt teeth they ruin skin dives

    You know what I’m sayin’? I wanna stay alive, but you know right where I’m at

    Your sensory could locate me in nothin’ flat

    Look, when the scene is marine, I’m a lousy source of protein

    So save your guillotine, I’m just lean cuisine

    What kind of a shark are you? I wanna know before I die

    Some sharks can terrify, but some are plain shy

    Carcaradon Megalodon could eat a car they say

    So what are you a hammerhead, Great White or San Jose?

    You must be 50 feet long and weigh 20 tons

    A whale of a shark comin’ at me I know I’m done for

    Say what, Mr. Big stuff

    You eat plankton and that’s enough?

    I was scared for nothin’ guess it’s true what they say

    Sharks they prefer much more tasty prey – they’re gourmet

    Now it’s true there’s a few that might take a bite

    But for most a human sandwich spoils their appetite

    You sharks are all right, I guess you have your place

    So live long and prosper, but stay outa my face!

    Hey you with the dorsal, I ain’t your morsel

    You can just take your slicin’ and dicin’ bootay someplace else

    Uh oh, here comes el fin

    © 1994 Kevin Beals, Mel McMurrin & Mario Newton

    TERMITE FLATULENCE

    Went down to the tropics today

    Where the rainforest is being stripped away

    Everyday we kill many species of plants

    The only thing left is gonna be termite flatulence.

    Termite flatulence

    Let the rainforest have a chance

    Stop termite flatulence

    People who need money cut down the trees

    To raise the cows for you and me

    If we don’t change what we’re doing, and change it fast

    Where once was a forest, there’ll be just termites passing gas

    When the trees cut down the stumps they stay

    The termites munch and help the wood decay

    Tiny critters in their guts help digest cellulose parts

    Like humans eating beans it makes termite……………….flatulence

    Hey Mon! Wo-man!

    Help the rainforest stay —–Don’t throw diversity away

    It’s not just the trees —–It’s the cure to disease

    If you want to do good —–Don’t buy tropical wood

    It’s affecting us all —– Hear the flatulence call

    You might wonder what you can do all alone

    Don’t eat cheap beef till the cows come home

    If we all eat more Brazilian nuts

    It might slow down all the termite butts… and stop flatulence

    © 1993 Kevin Beals, Joel Dunlap & Mel McMurrin

    TORNADO TWIST

    I was on the Great Plains, thought I felt some drops

    I stopped and saw a puffy cloud with an anvil on top

    A wind from the south was blowin’ moist and warm

    The cool wicked wind of the west was high in the storm

    The air was movin’ up and slowly started to turn

    Like a funnel that was formin’ now I was concerned

    Because it hovered ‘bove the ground, then bent down and kissed her

    I said, “look out Auntie Em, here comes a twister”!

    Twist, Twist, Twist – Do the tornado (4x)

    I heard a fat roar like a thousand freight trains

    Now it may rain in Spain, but the wind was on this plain

    Two hundred miles an hour – I was scared as the Dickens

    It put a cow on my roof – it plucked all my chickens

    It rearranged the furniture around my neighborhood

    I got a new hairdo right where I stood

    So look when nature throws a tantrum better watch out mister

    The spin cycle’s on now – you’re caught in a twister

    So if you wanna do the dance that is sweeping the nation with gyration

    It ain’t hard, all you need is rotation

    Stand on one foot and start twistin’ around

    Kind of like you’re squishin’ somethin’ into the ground

    Get hot down below stay cool up top

    If you think you’re gonna hurl then you better stop

    Keep on goin’ till you get a blister

    Grab your mom and Dad, your brother and sister

    You’re doin’ the tornado yeah, you’re doin’ the twister!

    © 1995 Mel McMurrin, Kevin Beals & Pete Madsen

    UNDERTAKERS

    Everybody say hey Hey

    Everybody say ho Ho

    Now throw your antennae in the air

    and wave ‘em ‘round like you don’t care

    Say munch it Munch it

    Everybody say crunch it Crunch it

    The log, the log, the log is decomposing

    The ants go marching 2 by 2

    When things drop dead Plop – boom

    Then we get fed and we feed the flower bed Munch it – and crunch it

    Will you appreciate – will you be grateful dead? I don’t think so- no way!

    But we never refuse your refuse Fine dining and – good eats

    Can you dig it? You can dig it ’cause we dig it.

    Even your nose is going to decompose. Because…

    We’re undertakers can you hear our thunder (repeat)

    If it’s dead or dung gonna take it under (repeat)

    We eat it all for you

    Munch it and crunch it

    The living skin of the earth – Soil

    wouldn’t exist if we weren’t around – Chompin’, and stompin’

    We ain’t Beethoven – we decompose

    Our destruction is soil creation Mas-ti-ca-TION!

    But we tunnel, we dig, we squirm, we crawl

    Garbage and goo – We love it all

    Your belly button too will be dirt when we are through

    break it on down, break it on down

    break it on down, break it on down

    break it on down, break it on down, break it on down, down, down, down, down

    Eatin’ fast we make Soil

    Take it slow we make Oil

    We’re setting free the sun’s energy Nibble nibble, plop drop

    Birth to earth Dust to dust

    To make the cycle go ‘round – In us you trust

    The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out

    Munch it and crunch it – we eat it all for you (3x)

    Your stinky feet too, will be rotten when we’re through

    We decompose the symphony of life

    When you’re already dead you probably won’t miss your head

    © 1995 Kevin Beals & Mel McMurrin

    WE DON’T WANNA GO (DINO GRADUATION SONG)

    The Cenozoic is here, our senior year must now end – Oh no, oh, no

    Sign my dino yearbook please my freshman mammalian friend – Oh no, oh, no

    Were so embarrassed that this could occur

    We’re being replaced by a ball of fur

    Rulers of Cretaceous, Jurassic, Triassic

    The only Dinos left are gonna be plastic

    Nah, nah, nah, nah, – Hey hey – We don’t wanna go (repeat)

    One hundred forty million years, but soon we’ll be history – Oh no, oh, no

    How did we die – the world’s biggest murder mystery – Oh no, oh, no

    Was it an asteroid or something else that occurred

    Or did we go on to college and evolve into birds?

    The last laugh’s on you humans, think you’re Sherlock Holmes

    The only clues we’ll leave will be a pile of bones

    So thanks Thecodonts, but now we’re sharing your fate – Oh no, oh, no

    The mammals will go on, but the dinos must graduate – Oh no, oh, no

    We could’ve been smart, but instead we got big

    Some small ones will survive ‘cause they can dig

    It’s hard to understand why some live and some die

    T. Rex will be dead and a cow will arrive.

    Gee, it’s really been fun! • Remember when that Pachycephalosaurus
    started whippin’ cycads in the cafeteria? • Yeah, what a bonehead • I
    almost spewed like a Dilophosaur • Hey I can’t wait for the senior prom •
    There’s gonna be a band called the asteroids playin’ • We’re gonna go
    out with a bang, man! • I’m really gonna miss you guys • Have a fun
    nuclear winter!

    Don’t evolve, don’t evolve, ever ever!

    Here we go dinos, here we go

    We are excellent, we’re wick’ brill’

    We’re the class of negative 65 mil

    © 1993 Mel McMurrin & Kevin Beals

    WE SAIL THE WINDS

    On a leaf of green from water I came

    Through photosynthesis, oxygen’s me name

    We sailed into the great blue yonder

    All through the air we did wander

    Till we were sucked into somebody’s nose

    Past snot and hairs down the tube we did go

    We sail the winds, the blood and the leaves

    We’re O2 gases that meet with a C – We’re air – Arrrrr Breathe in

    Through pharynx and larynx and trachea too

    The walls of the lungs is where we went through

    We flowed along in a great red sea

    In rivers of blood through the arteries

    Twas then we were welcomed into a cell

    Met a fair carbon lass and for her we both fell

    As animals burp, they breathe and they sneeze

    They send different gases out onto the breeze

    The carbon dioxide is what the plants use

    Providing the creatures with food and oxygen too

    We broke down that sugar here’s what we did do

    We bonded together to make CO2

    Back into the blood and through breath that smelled bad

    We were set free and adventures had

    Till we reached a plant and we ended our ride

    The stoma gates opened and let us inside

    © 1993 Pete Madsen & Kevin Beals